Tuesday, November 16, 2004

A Great Solution!

Eureka! I have a solution!
Problem 1: There are approximately 10 million illegal aliens, primarily from Mexico, who have crossed our porous border and are now living, working and draining our society of healthcare, and other welfare programs. These folks are generally hardworking family based people who were unfortunate enough to be born in a country that is geographically nice around the coast anyway, but is governmentally corrupt and socially crippled. Let’s face it, Mexico is a great place to vacation but for whatever reason, economically, they just can’t put it together. Mexico would love to be like the US, but there isn’t any way that is going to happen. You can’t go to city hall to open a business without getting approvals that will cost you lot’s of money under the table to politicians and then you will be penalized if you succeed with more payoffs and political bribes. Vicente Fox loves to come up here to rub elbows with the folks in DC, but the fact is, he is just a figurehead in a crime family that needs the US to employ its workers illegally to send revenue back to their lame country.

Problem 2: As indicated by the “red state, blue state map”, the liberal “Demon”crats have lost the country for a very long time. Thanks to the brilliance of geniuses like Michael Moore and 99% of Hollywood, Dan Rather and the MSM, and the Clintonistas, etc., The libs have lost their grip and their political relevance for the foreseeable future. There have been some rumblings from the true fools on the left that secession is the appropriate action for the Marxists masquerading as “Demon”crats. They know that their time has come, and that the main body of the country are on to them. Therefore, they want to do what any true lefty would do when faced with adversity, run. They think that if this country, which gives them the right to freely pronounce their stupidity, isn’t going to go along with their ideas, then they should find somewhere else to set up their socialist utopia.

Solution. First Mexico. I say, since they want to come here, the Mexican government practically encourages them, and we can’t seem to stop them, then we, the United States, needs to annex the entire country of Mexico and declare it as a fully owned U.S. Territory. Think of the benefits for both countries. They can keep their traditions, except that stupid napping in the middle of the day stuff, that’s got to go, but yet they can enjoy the beauty of American ideals and opportunities. They can cross the border anytime they want, come and pick our fruit or roof our homes and then go back home with good old American green in their pockets. It’s beautiful!
Second, All the socialist/Marxist/Dems can go and set up their utopia in Mexico. Think of it, there are so many opportunities for the Hollywood elites to practice what they preach all the while getting a great tan while hanging out on the beach. There’s plenty of ocean front property available and lots of opportunities for posing with little disadvantaged children with big, sad brown eyes. Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz would be in heaven! The lefties could set up their little government anyway they like. They could set up community centers for re-education for those who don’t catch on quick enough, also this could be the location for mandatory health checkups so that everyone, at least those who are healthy, can be eligible for government health care. Vicente Fox can still call himself president if he wants to but he’ll primarily be a pretty face in a nice suit looking good at black tie dinners. They could put Barbara Streisand in charge of the new National anthem. She could collaborate with Springsteen and come up with something appropriate, probably a combination of “People”, “Gone from the USA”, and the Mexican Hat Dance. Moby could do the techno dance remix, and naturally, P Ditty could do a rap version. Michael Moore could be the Minister of Propaganda. There won’t be any need for a military since they would be so nice to everybody they wouldn’t face any threats. Police would also be unnecessary and would be replaced with conflict resolution groups, mediators and safe zones for open discussion. Of course the entire Clintonista family would be in charge and would see to it that all “village” residents are happy at all times or re-education can be administered. (Bill would have to oversee beachwear and kneepad manufacturing since he’s kind of a hands on micro manager of such things.) And I’m sure there’s a place for John Kerry in the new Territory, he could probably be Luxury Home Development Czar, ensuring all the chosen people have what they so richly deserve. And let’s not forget some of the other intellects who will be moving south like Whoopie Goldberg, who could be court jester, and of course our friend, Al Franken who could be resident whiner. Robert Redford could clean up Mexico City in his new position of Secretary of Global Warming. And thanks to the mandatory abortion policy, administered by NARAL and NOW, the population of children will shrink rapidly, making more room in schools.

All in all, it’s a beautiful plan. Mexico gets what it wants – employment and free travel across the border; the Marxist Democrats get what they want – a population they can control, and disadvantaged people they can pretend to help; and we get what we want – secure borders, a mass exodus of the America hating “Demon”crats, great roofs, nice gardens, and all the fruit we can eat. When can we start!

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