Saturday, March 20, 2010

Obama calls for "Heaven's Gate" Strategy

In an unprecedented move today, President Obama called on fellow demoncrats to put on the same tennis shoes and purple track suits worn by the infamous Heaven's Gate Cult of California in preparation of the political suicide they are embarking on to save his image. From the podium this afternoon, Obama, nose aimed at the ceiling in arrogance, called on his comrades to be brave and take one for the team.

"Strap on the Nike's of loyalty and the track suit of commitment for my sake!", he shouted from the podium. "Don't worry about the great unwashed masses jamming the phone lines and email servers. We know that they are too stupid to understand how much we know what's best for them. Stay strong, and lay down your careers for me." "Who knows, maybe you can get a cushy job in my administration, or working for George Soros in one of his many clandestine shell companies used for the take down of this evil empire." "Be strong comrades!"

With that, Obama's minions, the Obama youth (Acorn), began to pass out the purple Nike's and track suits that the dems will wear as they go to their great reward in servitude to the master.

It was reported that one lone dem showed some resistance in taking the suicide uniform only to be quickly and silently dragged out of the room by several of the Obama brownshirts. The resistor wasn't seen again.

Hail to the Chief. The tail of the comet draws near.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Obama the Drunk

Now It all makes sense.
Finally we can understand the disaster that is Obama. He's a drunk. Therefore, we can now pity him, understand his disease and send him to treatment to make him better. According to his doctor, after his latest checkup, Obama was told to stop smoking and moderate his alcohol intake. And to think that all this time I was afraid that he might be the ultimate Manchurian plant sent into the presidency to destroy the USA. How silly was I. He was merely another victim of the evils of spirited drink. In his right mind, he's as patriotic and common sensed as the rest of us, but under the influence, he acts as a communistic, bullheaded criminal. It's not his fault! HE'S A DRUNK! There IS hope.