Saturday, March 11, 2006
In an unprecedented move, the President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (pronounced, death wish), confiscated every can of red paint in the region, and forced the citizens of Iran to paint a giant bulls eye over the entire nation. He said that the prophet Mohammad had appeared to him in a vision and revealed to him a secret plan for himself, and his followers, to meet Allah as quickly as possible. While to the civilized and sane world, this seems a bit extreme, to the faithful followers of the religion of pieces (body parts), this is a brilliant move. Now, the rest of the world won't have any trouble with sending President Deathwish to his rightful reward. Insiders close to President Deathwish have said that in his private revelation, Mohammad promised him more than the usual 72 virgins if he accomplished his task. In fact, if the entire country were sent to Allah, President deathwish would be given double the normal amount, 144 virgins! Also, as an extra bonus, he will receive a dozen sheep, 3 ducks, his 8-year-old cousin and his own mother for his additional pleasure. What more could a faithful Muslim want?! President Deathwish can't wait. Let's all pitch in and grant him his wish. He deserves it.