Monday, April 10, 2006

My Solution, Again

In light of the recent display of ignorance and stupidity on the part of both political parties regarding the Mexican invasion, I will re-run an older post of mine in hopes that it finds its way to higher authorities. This problem really isn't that difficult to solve. If clearer heads can prevail, everyone can be happy. Enjoy, and pass it on to those who might be able make this brilliant solution a reality.

map
Eureka! I have a solution!
Problem 1: There are approximately 12 million illegal aliens, primarily from Mexico, who have crossed our porous border and are now living and working illegally in our country. This invasion is draining our society of healthcare, education and welfare programs intended for US citizens. These folks are generally hardworking family based people who were unfortunate enough to be born in a country that is geographically nice around the coast anyway, but is governmentally corrupt and socially crippled. Let’s face it, Mexico is a great place to vacation but for whatever reason, economically, they just can’t put it together. Mexico would love to be like the US, but there isn’t any way that is going to happen. You can’t go to city hall to open a business without getting approvals that will cost you lot’s of money under the table to politicians and then you will be penalized if you succeed with more payoffs and political bribes. Vicente Fox loves to come up here to rub elbows with the folks in DC, but the fact is, he is just a figurehead in a crime family that needs the US to employ its workers illegally to send revenue back to their lame country.

Problem 2: As indicated by the “red state, blue state map”, the liberal “Demon”crats have lost the country for a very long time. Thanks to the brilliance of geniuses like Michael Moore and 99% of Hollywood, Dan Rather and the MSM, and the Clintonistas, etc., the libs have lost their grip and their political relevance for the foreseeable future. There have been some rumblings from the true fools on the left that secession is the appropriate action for the Marxists masquerading as “Demon”crats. They know that their time has come, and that the main body of the country are on to them. Therefore, they want to do what any true lefty would do when faced with adversity, run. They think that if this country, which gives them the right to freely pronounce their stupidity, isn’t going to go along with their ideas, then they should find somewhere else to set up their socialist utopia.

Solution. First Mexico. I say, since they want to come here, the Mexican government practically encourages them, and we can’t seem to stop them, then we, the United States, needs to annex the entire country of Mexico and declare it as a fully owned U.S. Territory. Think of the benefits for both countries. They can keep their traditions, except that stupid napping in the middle of the day stuff, that’s got to go, but yet they can enjoy the beauty of American ideals and opportunities. They can cross the border anytime they want, come and pick our fruit or roof our homes and then go back home with good old American green in their pockets. It’s beautiful!
Second, All the socialist/Marxist/Dems can go and set up their utopia in Mexico. Think of it, there are so many opportunities for the Hollywood elites to practice what they preach all the while getting a great tan while hanging out on the beach. There’s plenty of ocean front property available and lots of opportunities for posing with little disadvantaged children with big, sad brown eyes. Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt, Drew Barrymore, and Cameron Diaz would be in heaven! The lefties could set up their little government anyway they like. They could set up community centers for re-education for those who don’t catch on quick enough, also this could be the location for mandatory health checkups so that everyone, at least those who are healthy, can be eligible for government health care. Vicente Fox can still call himself president if he wants to but he’ll primarily be a pretty face in a nice suit looking good at black tie dinners. They could put Barbara Streisand in charge of the new National anthem. She could collaborate with Springsteen and come up with something appropriate, probably a combination of “People”, “Gone from the USA”, and the Mexican Hat Dance. Moby could do the techno dance remix, and naturally, P Ditty could do a rap version. Michael Moore could be the Minister of Propaganda. There won’t be any need for a military since they would be so nice to everybody they wouldn’t face any threats. Police would also be unnecessary and would be replaced with conflict resolution groups, mediators and safe zones for open discussion. Of course the entire Clintonista family would be in charge and would see to it that all “village” residents are happy at all times or re-education can be administered. (Bill would have to oversee beachwear and kneepad manufacturing since he’s kind of a hands on micro manager of such things.) And I’m sure there’s a place for John Kerry in the new Territory, he could probably be Luxury Home Development Czar, ensuring all the chosen people have what they so richly deserve. And let’s not forget some of the other intellects who will be moving south like Whoopie Goldberg, who could be court jester, and of course our friend, Al Franken who could be resident whiner. Robert Redford could clean up Mexico City in his new position of Secretary of Global Warming. And thanks to the mandatory abortion policy, administered by NARAL and NOW, the population of children will shrink rapidly, making more room in schools.

All in all, it’s a beautiful plan. Mexico gets what it wants – employment and free travel across the border; the Marxist Democrats get what they want – a population they can control, and disadvantaged people they can pretend to help; and we get what we want – secure borders, a mass exodus of the America hating “Demon”crats, great roofs, nice gardens, and all the fruit we can eat. When can we start!

12 comments:

rightard said...

I like it, good plan. Don't forget Ted Kennedy in the new regime Down South. Like a mighty beached whale he could lay on the sand, bloated and drunk, almost like a historical landmark. Tourists would come from all over the world to behold the wonderous sight.

Jeff said...

Given your disdain for measurements, it's not likely you have much information to support your characterization of Mexico. I'd like to know how much of its corruption results from the United States' insatiable demand for narcotics. Mexico does appear uncharacteristically corrupt for a Western democracy.

One reason Mexico "can't put it together" economically can be traced to its agricultural trade imbalance. Since NAFTA, the Mexican deficit has increased dramatically. Heavily subsidized American food products are pouring over the border at an accelerated pace. Since the treaty went into effect, Mexico's imbalance went from -755 US million to -4 US billion. One quarter of Mexico's population still earns its living in agriculture. Where do you think they're gonna go after they lose their livelihood? It sure as hell ain't Guatemala.

BTW: Republicans won't be happy until there are banana trees growing along the Potomac. You can stick those people in the South where they belong. We'll stick to colder climes.

Mr. Ithurtswhenipee said...

Holy shit, Scud. You sure do have a taste for risking other people's lives in order to take over foreign countries. Why don't you change your piss stained underware, and charge across the Rio Grande, or the Euphrates, or the Iranian border yourdamnself? How 'bout it tough guy? Put up, or shut up.

scud said...

What? No heart or compassion? That's not like a lefty. All I'm proposing is that we give Mexico exactly what they want and need - membership. No life risking necessary.

We just say to el presidente' Fox, "Look you good for nothing poverty pimp, you are now the governor of the US Territory of Mexico. The citizens of Mexico can now come across the border anytime, in fact we'll provide safe and adequate transportation. They can get any job they want, go to school, live where they want, whatever. Your corrupt system of turd world government is now over. You can either agree or fix my roof."

That's all that would be necessary. The people of Mexico would love it. Why is that so hard to understand? Or is too enticing for lefties to have another liberal cause to whine about?

Jeff said...

In this case the liberal cause is an end to farm subsidies not a preemptive invasion. Most liberals recognize that agriculture is a unique industry in which a few buyers set prices for a large number of producers. The adjustment could be softened with advantageous tax policies and perhaps a one-time buyout. If Mexicans were able to compete in a fair agro market, then their influx could return to pre NAFTA levels when waiters in Minneapolis taco places were big awkward white guys....

Pershing said...

HE LIED.

scud said...

Preemptive invasion? Sorry, too late. We've already been invaded. It's time to react not bury our collective heads in the sand and pretend we haven't.

Anonymous said...

Sound like scud is afraid that his Mexican gardener is gonna fuck his wife... again.

Jeff said...

scud: This may surprise you but Mexicans who cross the border do so as individuals, not as agents of their government, ergo, it's not an invasion. If you feel compelled to indulge your prejudice, then please refer to it as an infestation. If you want to round up all these people, then hop to it. At a rate of 50 illegals a day, the task to remove them all will be complete in 2663 assuming you can block the borders from this moment on

scud said...

Thank you again for proving my point. You can't get rid of them, and we want them here. Spineless politicians on both sides, are attempting to walk a fine line trying to appease their constituents while not "allienating" the illegals and losing their eventual votes. Therefore, take their stupid country, send the libs down there to "fix" it, and we all are happy. Duhh.

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! » » »

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