Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Hillary the Borg Queen-Resistance is Futile
Hilary Clinton made a surprise announcement today at a NYC Press conference in which she admitted being the true Borg Queen. She then followed by saying in a slightly mechanized voice, that "You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile". She then proceeded to peel off the nasty pink pollyester pantsuit she was wearing and her ever changing hairstyle wig, and revealed her true form. One Times reporter was overheard whispering to himself, "Gawd Almighty, no wonder Bill won't sleep with her, gross!" Hillary, with her super Borg powers, overheard his mutterings and stared at him intently. Suddenly, the reporter's head exploded into a fine red mist that coated the room. Hillary then asked politely, "Are there any questions?" Not surprisingly, the room was quiet. She then pulled out an easle with a large photograph of the Borg cube. She pointed one of her robotic fingers at it and exclaimed that this was the Borg vision of the world under new Borg rule. As her voice became increasingly mechanical, she stated, "Do not fear, just like the goals of liberalism, there will be no poverty, hunger, or pain. There will be no rich, no need for individualism, religion or hope. We are Borg. We are one. Resistance is futile."
The reporters in the room were silent for a few seconds more, then nodded compliently and said to each other, " Yeah, that makes sense. Hillary's right, she's always right. I guess we are Borg." "Yup", another said, "We are Borg". "Let's get assimilated". "We have been for years", another said. "Oh yeah, Hail Hillary! The Borg Queen!"
Resistance is Futile.
But We're gonna try. And we will win.