Wednesday, January 10, 2007

What Should Be Said.

President Scud
My fellow Americans, Tonight we find ourselves at the precipice of a new age in our country's history. For the past several decades a radical, dark and evil ideology has festered and grown across the globe with an ultimate goal of world domination and forced subservience to their twisted thinking. This cancer of humanity under the banner of Islam has attacked and killed innocent people throughout the world seeking only to indiscriminately destroy, injure and generate fear among civilized populations on every continent. The danger is that this medieval ideology now has the benefit of modern technology and they will use it whenever possible to inflict maximum damage. For years the world has treated terrorism as a series of isolated criminal acts and sought to find and prosecute the perpetrators from a law enforcement mentality. On September 11th, 2001, that changed. We no longer had the luxury of watching these acts of terror happen on distant shores. And so, as President, to protect our nation, I made the decision to respond to this evil with military force. Now 4 years after our initial military intervention in both Afghanistan and Iraq, we along with our allies, have liberated 31 million people in Afghanistan and 26 million people in Iraq. The repressive and evil regimes of the Taliban and Saddam Hussein are gone. Today, in both Iraq and Afghanistan, a democratically elected government is in place and functioning for the benefit of their respective citizens.

At this time, I think it's important to try to clear something up right now. Contrary to the popular belief of some delusional members of the Demoncratic party, and some kooky fringe elements of the extreme left, the events of September 11th were not orchestrated by the American Government! To continue, neither Dick Cheney, myself, or our "friends in the oil business", initiated a war in order to enrich ourselves! Anyone who is crazy enough to think that needs to re-evaluate their citizenship. I hear France is nice. Also, while it's true we went into Iraq initially because we feared there were stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction, that wasn't a story made up to justify a war. Every intelligence organization in the world said the same thing. The United Nations voted to take action because of the numerous violations of UN sanctions, and the congress, acting on the same intel we all had, authorized military force in Iraq. Even the Clinton administration called for regime change in Iraq. The bottom line is that in a post 9-11 world, wait and see, was not an option.

Having said this, I am now authorizing and calling for a temporary build up of troops in Iraq with the explicit goal of using whatever force is necessary to purge the country of insurgent terrorists and enable the Iraqi government to take charge and control their country. For too long now, we have been trying to conduct a politically correct war, seeking to get positive coverage on the alphabet channel news coverage and in the world press. It's obvious that will never happen. The only option is to win, and win quickly. This can and will be done with overwhelming force. The military comanders on the ground, in theater, will have every military option open to them to secure our people and our victory. There will be casualties. There always are. But like in other world wars, sacrifice is necessary for the greater good. We have the military skill, equipment and professionalism to accomplish this mission and in doing so, will put the Islamo-fascists on the run. We will continue to hunt them down in whatever corner of the world they seek to hide. We will be relentless and will be victorious.

The opponents of this war wish to run from the fight. They think that if we retreat, and put our heads in the sand, the threat will go away. They couldn't be more wrong. We have learned from history, that appeasement never works. This enemy, even more than those we've faced before, are more dangerous than any the civilized world has ever faced. To them death is better than life and is to be celebrated. The more death and pain they can inflict on innocents, the better. They cannot be reasoned with, only eliminated.

The precipice we stand on now, my fellow Americans, is this; are we to cut and run from the fight that has been brought to us, and hope for the best? Or, do we face the greatest challenge of our age and take the fight to the enemy and seek to preserve our great country? I choose to fight now, and leave a safer world for our children.

God's speed to the brave men and women in our military, and God bless America.

34 comments:

Barney Bush said...

Woof, Woof, that Daddy sure takes a mean picture. Mommy and I never seen him look more presidential.

Mr. Ithurtswhenipee said...

That's a very stirring speech, Scud. I especially like the ending.

"...I choose to fight now, and leave a safer world for our children."

By "I" guess you mean everybody but you. By the way, did everybody notice that President Coocoo Bananas didn't end his half hour mea culpa with "God bless America." Why does Surge W. Bush hate Jesus, and America?

Oh, and one more thing. What exactly does "God's speed to the brave men and women in our military" mean?

scud said...

I have no idea. But as a lefty you should know that all you have to do is say stuff that sounds good - you don't really have to have any ideas or plans to follow through on. right?

ThePrez said...

I have come full circle in the war on terror. In the begining, I replaced the Generals who said we needed more troops in Iraq. Now I'm replacing the Generals who say we don't need more troops in Iraq. I'm always attuned to the wishes of my War Fighters.

Mission Accomplished!!! And God Bless Halliburton.

what should have been said...

My fellow Americans, I humbly stand here before you tonight to beg your forgiveness for my actions as your President. After Jimmy Baker got me appointed President back in 2000, I thought I could just coast through the job. The same way I' ve coasted through my entire life. I realize now that I'm in way over my head. Specifically, Id like to apologize for the following:

After receiving warnings about the dangers posed by Osama bin Laden from my predecessor, I chose to ignored those threats. I was wrong.

We could have gotten Osama bin Laden at Tora Bora, but I was too busy pulling our forces out of Afghanistan, and sending them to Iraq. I was wrong.

I lied to you, the American people, about Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction. I was wrong.

Contrary to what I was told, I didn't want to believe that civil war would erupt in Iraq. I was wrong... I still don't know the difference between a Shia and a Sunni.

Pretty much everything I have done as President, and even not as President, has been a complete failure: tax cuts for Paris Hilton, Clear Skys Initiative, Big Oil subsidies, Katrina response. I could go on all night. However, I realize now that this nation should no longer be subject to my incompetence. That is why tomorrow morning I will do two things. First, I will propose legislation to Congress calling for a repeal of the twenty-second amendment. That way, President Clinton can be reelected to clean up my mess. Just like he cleaned up my daddy's. I will then immediately resign, and flee to South America.

To the vast majority of Americans, I once again apologize. And to the few remaining people who still support me...Wake up and smell the coffee. I suck.

Adios.

Jeff said...

Scud: Do you have a non-administration source to back your assertion that "every intelligence organization in the world said the same thing", i.e., that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction? Our own intelligence community was divided. Yet despite the divide, the administration NEVER commissioned an NIE on WMD. Why? Probably because they didn't want an "unfavorable" result.

Of course none of these opinions were relevent in the spring of 2003 when Blix and Ritter followed American intelligence from place to place and back again. They found NOTHING. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Since the administration never commissioned an NIE, its desire for an accurate assessment is called into question. If you couple that with its reaction to negative inspections results, then it seems that war was a foregone conclusion.

scud said...

Like I said, France looks pretty good. They could use a few more America haters. I'll buy the ticket, but it's a one way only. Actually, I rescind my offer for a ticket. But I will help you build a raft. Seriously, doesn't it get tiring having no agenda other than Bush hatred? The left is so pathetic!

Mr. Ithurtswhenipee said...

In all my life, I never met a frenchman who hated America. Though I have known of many Americans who claim to hate our nation's oldest ally. If only the French government had allowed our planes to fly over sovereign french airspace on their way to bomb Khadaffi's house, things would be different.

D.J. said...

Just curious scud, what sacrifices are you making for the war in Iraq? Do you have kids in the services?

dick hurtzer said...

It appears the only thing scud is willing to sacrifice is his dignity.

scud said...

Like I said, Pathetic!

Yes dj, when all my adult children were home from college for Christmas, I secretly drugged them during dinner, dressed them all in cammo I had purchased on eBay, strapped M-16s to their hands, and had them privately airlifted and dropped off in Baghdad. The last I heard, they were doing well, following what John Kerry said they should be doing, breaking down the doors of Iraqi families, terrorizing women and children in the dead of night. They also were trying to do what Dick Durban suggested they do by taking prisoners and torturing them like the Nazis, Stalin and Pol Pot.. I'm very proud. It warms my heart to know that they are following the brave leadership of such outstanding Americans. Sure it's a sacrifice, but I do what I can.

Now, as a good leftist, I expect you to do what you can by smoking some dope, listening to some Springsteen loudly on your iPod and then falling asleep on the railroad tracks. Or, you could move to France.

dick hurtzer said...

Scud,
Instead of asking the vast majority of Americans who know that our President is a complete fuck up to move to France, why don't you move to Iraq. I bet they could use someone to take pictures of all those freshly painted schools we hear so much about. Plus, it's rapidly turning into the kind of fundamentalist society you so long for here. I bet it's tough to get dope there, or an abortion. They have neocon economic fantasies written into their constitution. Why I even bet that their President doesn't feel bound by the laws of their land either. I imagine someone with the kind of deep understanding of Islam, which you constantly demonstrate, would have no problem assimilating into Iraqi society. So long, good luck. and god's speed to you.

lelelelelelelelelelelele.......

pepe la pew said...

Please Mssr. Scud, could you drop the tired old refrain about going to France. It doesn't come close to having the same effect as the classic, "love it or leave it". Reverting to comments like those, has always been the final refuge of people with no valid arguments left.
For an individual to assume, that everyone who refuses to think like a Scud. Must automatically hate America. Places that person's thought process in doubt.

Being content to endlessly send other people's kids into harm's way, for a war of choice. Truly doesn't make you anymore patriotic than those who want to spare others that fate. Although it's not likely to happen, here's a compromise for you. You rightards stop wrapping yourself in the flag and we leftists will start thinking about moving to France.

scud said...

Good one! I'm on my way.

Jeff said...

Scud: I've come question your love of country. It's not the United States but one particular individual who tickles your affections. Your plea for continued sacrifice isn't for the benefit of the country but for the sorry legacy of George W. Bush. You see, if victory was necessary to save this great country of ours, then you'd demand George W. Bush produce more troops, not the meager 20,000 he asked for Wednesday night.

Let me explain. The newest puppet is Gen. David H. Petraeus. He helped update the army's counterinsurgency field manual for the first time in twenty years. If you read that manual, you'll discover that "twenty counterinsurgents per 1000 residents is often considered the minimum troop density required for effective COIN operations." Currently the army has 70,000 combat troops - we're talking triggermen, not support - in all of Iraq. The population of that country is 28 million. By its own recommendation, the army requires a minimum of 560,000 combat troops to achieve "victory."

Bush is just stalling for time. Twenty thousand troops isn't nearly enough to support his rhetoric but it could be enough to prevent helicoptors from pealing people off roofs in the Green Zone under his watch. Since you haven't made calls for actual sacrifice, i.e., a draft, higher taxes, etc., it's obvious your chief concern is the Bushean legacy and not what's best for the county....

Anonymous said...

Lib dem trash. We'll run away, subscribing to the cowardly leftist agenda and the next terrorist attack is inevitable and it will be huge. All this mindless blather, bashing Bush, bashing the military, etc. will soon be forgotten as a nuclear cloud drifts across the lower 48. Bend over, leftist garbage, it's coming sooner than you think.

Anonymous said...

...and it will be the fault of the incompetence of George W. Bush, and his brain dead supporters.

Anonymous said...

I just had a vision about Jeff I'd like to share. He's laid out on his bed at home, silently weeping into his pillow because of "Car-Wrapped-Around-Tree-Gate". And his drop-dead, gorgeous, bombshell-of-a-wife is practicing her backhand up against the side of their doublewide trailer, located in beautiful downtown Shitsville, PA. She has a blank, catatonic look on her face as Jeff softly weeps. Soon Jeff flies into a rage against God and all white Christians because, for Jeff, all arguments ultimately lead to bashing white Christians. The horror. The horror of it all.

jr said...

Let me see if I got this right: you attack W for going to war with terrorists and scream to give-up and when the attack hits our shores again, you will blame W for not winning the war on terrorism. Makes perfect sense to me. No offense, but you liberals are completely insane. Like anonymous said, bend over and take shallow breaths, death, and lots of it, is coming.

Anonymous said...

Stupid lib dem trash.

Anonymous jr. said...

Pardon my insanity. I have an identify crisis. I think, though my family is against it, that I'll "surge" my psychotropic medicines 15 percent. If an escalation will work in Iraq, it'll work for me. God's Bless the augmentation.

Anonymous said...

No jr, you dumb fuck. If and when the attack comes it will be Chimpy's fault for wasting or nations military and treasure in Iraq instead of using those assets to destroy Al Quaida. You remember Al Quaida don't you? They're the people who attacked us the last time. They are most likely the people who would attack us again, as opposed to the Iraqis.

jr said...

No, but I do remember something called Al-Qaeda. Stupid liberals, can't think, can't spell, can't be reasoned with. I guess we should let all those Al-Qaeda folks in Iraq, the ones we're routinely killing now, just go on with their business. Lord, you people are hopelessly dense.

Anonymous said...

JR, you rock. Speaking of which, where is "mr. ithurtswhenipee"? Here's a grown adult, supposedly married with children, who refers to himself as "mr. ithurtswhenipee". Our resident Father-of-the-Year routinely and frequently drops the F-bomb and, besides having serious anger management issues, has got some seriously twisted viewpoints. One can only imagine what kind of trash he's raising for kids. I feel sorry for them. They never even had a chance. In the world of liberals, anything goes. What a scumbag.

jr anonymous said...

I'm one fine piece of work. Two personalities and they're both conservative and both confused.

Mr. Ithurtswhenipee said...

That's correct. I do teach my children not to be intimidated by "dirty words". I also teach them to question authority, admit to mistakes, learn from those errors, and forgive and teach others when they are wrong- like yourself. All that, and no fear of going to hell.

I never realized Al Quaida was such a vast organization. Our armed forces have killed thousands of Iraqis. To think that all of them were members of a terrorist network is chilling indeed. No wonder you live in a constant state of fear. You pussy.

Jeff said...

It's like you guys fell into the clueless tree and hit every branch on the way to the ground. Anonymous warns of a nuclear cloud should the US pull out of Iraq. Nuclear weapons don't materialize out of thin air and Iraq was about as likely to achieve a nuclear warhead as Scud.

Another anonymous makes the nonsensical claim that I rage against gods that I don't believe exist. That's like raging against leprechauns or, in his case, evolutionary biology.

Jr can't seem to follow a conversational thread. Nobody "attacked" W when he launched the Afgan invasion. The problem began when he invaded Iraq because Saddam tried to kill his daddy or something. It's like FDR started a civil war in Peru because the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

Furthermore, al Qaeda is in Iraq because the US provided it an opportunity to achieve a primary strategic objective: control of a nation state. Despite the chaos unleashed by the 2003 invasion, al Qaeda in Iraq has not demonstrated the capacity necessary to sieze control of that country. While Jr is tossing and turning at night, I'm not worried they'll sieze power. If the US can't subdue 28 million Iraqis, 1300 al Qaeda members sure as hell aren't going to do it.

scooterlib said...

Looks like my namesake, Scooter Libby, is going to squeal like a little girl.

Jeff said...

Crazy Jesus Lady and Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachman likes short men as she can't keep her hands off the President. Scud, if she's not your representative, then you really ought to move into her district. Birds of a feather....

Mr. Ithurtswhenipee said...

Quit bothering scud. Don't you know he's busy getting all his affairs in order, so he can be free to serve in the surge. Thus leaving a safer world for our children.

scud's nightmare said...

Pelosi said she was puzzled by what she considered the president's minimalist explanation for his confidence in the new surge of 21,500 U.S. troops that he has presented as the crux of a new "way forward" for U.S. forces in Iraq.

PELOSI: He's tried this two times — it's failed twice. I asked him at the White House, 'Mr. President, why do you think this time it's going to work?'

BUSH: Because I told them it had to.

PELOSI: Why didn't you tell them that the other two times?

Anonymous said...

Franken for Senate

antiscud said...

The prospect of Minnesota being rescued from the clutches of the flat-earth crowd. Is truly great news!

Jeff said...

While scud was drinking all the Kool-aid Dear Leader would serve, as he believed DICK Cheney when he said we'd be greated as liberators, Molly Irvins presented an alternative view. On January 16, 2003 she wrote: "I assume we can defeat Hussein without great cost to our side - God forgive me if that is hubris. The problem is what happens after we win. The country is 20 percent Kurd, 20 percent Sunni and 60 percent Shiite. Can you say, 'Horrible three-way civil war?'"

Sadly, scud remains unable to advance a reality-based Weltanschauung and utter the phrase "civil war." In this piece, he vowed to "purge the country of insurgent terrorists" rather than negotiate the end of a bloody civil war. His mental block would be unimportant if not for the fact that Scud is nothing but a Republican shrill. Chimpy's "surge" illustrates perfectly what Scud claims "should be said." The people running this war are morons.