Sunday, February 25, 2007

Gore Comedy Wins

gorebull warming
Al "the ever expanding blimp" Gore brought the audience at the Oscars and the other billion people watching, to their collective knees in hysterical laughter Sunday night. In his acceptance speech for his Oscar for best comedy, Al "the blimp" Gore giggled with glee as he recalled the many late nights spent making up crap for his movie. The crowd roared with laughter as he explained how in reality, CO2 and most of the other supposed "greenhouse gasses" that are going to destroy the earth any minute, occur naturally and that he had no clue what he was talking about. Between his own bursts of laughter, he managed to state that there was no positive correlation between the increase in CO2 and the slight warming trend over the past 100 years and that most of the statistical rise in average temperature during the last century was due to the warm period in the 30's - long before major industrial development. Melissa Etheridge, singer and boot-wearing bulldyke, practically fell off her chair laughing as Gore revealed that the science is inconclusive and that solar activity is the probable cause of climate change over the past 20,000 years. As the music played, signaling that Gore's fleeting minutes of fame were up, Gore skipped off the stage to raucous laughter and applause. In his brilliant comedic mind, Gore was already planning a sequel to his first comedy. Maybe he'd tell his life story and call it, "Gore, an inconvenient piece of crap". "Yeah", he thought, "just like the dog excrement that inconveniently ends up on the bottom of your shoe; that's just like me!"

116 comments:

Ted Kaczynski said...

...and they called ME a paranoid schitzo ???!!!

right fred said...

I'm too sexy for this blog, too sexy for this blog...

Shirley A Dumbass once said...

"Scud, you're brilliant."

Nutty McBonkers said...

Bravo, Mr. Scud, bravo indeed. I agree with that french woman. You ARE brilliant!!

willy shakespeare said...

Methinks Scud, our resident wordsmith, demonstrates a writing ability matched only by George Bush's speechifying.

Jeff said...

Scud: You and science have a hate-hate relationship. It doesn't like you and you don't like it. We are all collectively stupidier for having read this. Thanks.

Dan Quayle said...

Jeff,
I believe it's supposed to read: We are all collectively more stupidier...

Jeff said...

Sorry Dan but this post cost me at least 15 IQ points - after four years of Flyober Guy, I'm six points from shitting myself....

antiscud said...

Although I think Al Gore was deserving of the Oscar he won for his work in the documentary "Inconvenient Truth". I have to confess, that at times like this. I'm always a little taken aback that George Bush has never been properly recognized for what was undoubtedly his greatest acting job. That would be of course, his 9/11 role of President reading to school children. There's no other way to describe it, his acting on that day was indeed superb. By his demeanor alone he successfully portrayed an astonishing range of emotions. Shock...bewilderment and even raw fear. As a person watched him, sitting there reading "The Pet Goat" while terrorists attacked the country. His acting left you with the image of a man who "didn't know whether to shit or go blind." What a trouper the man is, the liberal media has to be that reason acting like that has never been rewarded.

Wait a minute, disregard what I said about George's performance. I was just advised he wasn't acting.

scud said...

Bla bla bla... I'm running my Suburban a little extra for all of you just because I can. I have to keep it warm because another "Gorbal warming" blizzard is imminent. God help us.

mr.beck said...

With gas at $3.50+ a gallon, running your Suburban a little extra is the smart thing to do.

I hate america said...

Maybe scud will do the world a favor by running his Suburban in the garage, while he sit's in the driver's seat listening to the latest Toby Keith track.

Jeff said...

Scud: Do you challenge the notion that atmospheric CO2 levels have increased about 100 ppm since the onset of the Industrial Revolution?

scud said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Global warming = junk science. More lib-dem pop-cultured BS, fanned by media biased hysterics. Gore is insane. What a perfect poster dick for the Loopy Left.

mr. ithurtswhenipee said...

Jeff, call me, I need you.

Anonymous said...

How dare you criticize the guy who invented the internet.

Anonymous said...

Jeff: blogger, atheist, tennis player, IS man, published author, now a climatologist, thanks to Master Google. So gifted.....

Anonymous said...

What!?!? My CO2 PPM test tube checker that hangs outside my kitchen window, right next to my Global Temp Guage, says only 90 PPM! What the Hell? Now I am going to panic....HOLY CRAP, this is serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tom said...

Libs, always soiling themselves over something.....

Anonymous said...

Global warming...whatever. Now, on to important things: did you hear? Nicole is going to be buried in the Bahamas! Wonder how she's doing, I'll bet she has lost weight.

Dicklesscheney said...

I see Analnonymous, the one man crowd, is having another debate with himself.

Jeff said...

Oh, like I'm supposed to trust the Google. It tells me the Industrial Revolution began in the 1780s and reached its stride by the 1830s. Scud tells us it began sometime after the 1930s. Clearly one of them is wrong...

scud's gay lover said...

That's only because history has such a liberal bias.

Jeff said...

scud: after great deal of thought, I decided to vote for Hitlery Cunton in the Democratic primary. Why? Just so you'll know what it felt like to be me for the past six years....

ann coulter said...

Scud, you're a faggot.

and i'm proud to be an american... said...

Hey great news!!! It seems we just killed a bunch more terrorists in Afghanistan. We bombed the fuck outta those...what?.....defenseless civilians huh,....never mind.

truth hurts said...

It seems that members of George Bush's Defense Department have bought into the inconvenient crap. They just don't want Scud to know about it. Why does the Pentagon hate America?

dowhatyouwantthelordwilltakecareofeverything said...

Get real Mr. Truth Hurts. It's obvious to people of faith, that the Pentagon has become infested with secular leftists out of touch with reality. I've been personally assured by the Right Rev. Pat, that God, not man, has the solution to this problem. He has already formulated a plan to take care of any potential Global Warming problems. In a nut shell, and I stress the word nut, here's a quick outline of the plan. For every degree the earth's global temperature rises, the devil will be forced to reduce the heat in Hell by an equal amount. Is that an inspired solution or what? The increased heat from Heaven, being offset by the reduced temperatures from Hell. You do know of course, that Hell's located the center of the earth like a great big furnace.

As for the widespread flooding predicted for the immediate future. These floods will not be caused by rising sea levels, that's more liberal poppycock. But rather, by the land sinking under the enormous weight of the sins committed by the populace of these nations. Solution, get right with God, stop sinning, earth rises, flooding stops. Do you get that secularists? So remember, people of faith have nothing to worry about, it's those science believing, liberal heathens who are going to get their asses handed to them. Can I get an Amen?

scooterlib said...

Today, I find myself in a position where it's possible I may need to change my name. Because of the criminal actions of that scumbag Scooter Libby, an unwelcome cloud of shame has been cast over all the Scooter's of the world. May he rot in h... prison.

George W. Bush said...

Don't worry scooterlib. I'll clear your namesake's reputation with a presidential pardon. If I don't, he may testify in his appeal, and expose my entire criminal organization.

Anonymous said...

Whenever I see poll numbers that indicate just 29% of the country supports the Worst. President. Ever. I think about a certain whacko from Minnesota....

The Ghost of Richard Nixon said...

Please, oh please, Jesus, let him drop a few more percentage points. Tricky Dick's tired of being the only President to bottom out in the low 20's

Anonymous said...

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Jeff said...

Very hot!

Anonymous said...

Scud's the only guy I know who would look at that very hot Brazilian protester and get upset.

Mr. Ithurtswhenipee said...

What the fuck??? Chimpy's administration is unraveling before our very eyes, and his number one ankle grabber* remains deafeningly silent. Could it be that President Shit-fer-brains' approval rating in flyover country is about to drop even lower?

*Scud

Jeff said...

Meet scud's favorite Minnesota law enforcer.

jroosh said...

good stuff fly guy!

charlie juba said...

Yes, good stuff indeed.

dicklesscheney said...

Well, I see George the Dyslexic has returned from his***good-will*** visit to our southern neighbors. Thing is, while there, he appeared to be auditioning more for a job on the Food Channel than conducting the Nation's business. Other than embarrassing the country once again, the one thing he did accomplish was to prove Donald Trump is 100% right about him.

Sherlock said...

News Flash: Key Computer Stolen From Minnesota Democrats' HQ.

This theft, along with the fact Scud hasn't shown up here for awhile. Brings to mind this old song lyric. "Could it be our boy's done something rash?"

Ann Coulter said...

Fag

Anonymous said...

Yuck, how many lib dem scumbags can infest one site. The stench is overwhelming. Like the vermin you are, you just feed on each other's garbage. Disgusting waste of skin, each and every one.

Ann Coulter said...

Edwards is such a fag, he gave his wife cancer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha....

dicklesscheney said...

The only reason we libs show up here, is to see the deranged analnonymous pretend to be Ann "the man" Coulter.

Anonymous said...

Typical liberals, the topic de jour is fat, idiotic, Al Gore and all of a sudden it's about Scooter Libby, Bush-bashing, etc. Liberals can never argue coherently about anything, much less stay on point. They're simply too stupid. Go ahead lib dem trash, defend Fat Boy.

Anonymous said...

It's simply that Gore doesn't need defending. He's right! It's your boy, the lying, stupid, inarticulate, flat earth GWB that needs defending.

Tony Snow said...

Who knew lying would give me cancer????

john smith said...

Mindless liberals. They'll believe anything as long as it supports their nutcase view of the world. Global warming is a total lie, one of the biggest hoaxes in history. And there's Fat Boy himself, giving $100K speeches to any idiot who will listen. Such credibility.

Sen. Jack Imhoff said...

Analnonymous, John "Doe" Smith and I are in complete agreement about Global Warming. And I'll have you know, as right wingers, we are the world's foremost experts on all things "mindless".

Anonymous said...

Al Gore: fat, idiotic, and worthless. Every liberal's fantasy come true....

dicklesscheney said...

Anonymous said...
"Al Gore: fat, idiotic, and worthless. Every liberal's fantasy come true...."


Anal, you're a riot. Dumber than a box of rocks, but still a riot.

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