Sunday, February 25, 2007

Gore Comedy Wins

gorebull warming
Al "the ever expanding blimp" Gore brought the audience at the Oscars and the other billion people watching, to their collective knees in hysterical laughter Sunday night. In his acceptance speech for his Oscar for best comedy, Al "the blimp" Gore giggled with glee as he recalled the many late nights spent making up crap for his movie. The crowd roared with laughter as he explained how in reality, CO2 and most of the other supposed "greenhouse gasses" that are going to destroy the earth any minute, occur naturally and that he had no clue what he was talking about. Between his own bursts of laughter, he managed to state that there was no positive correlation between the increase in CO2 and the slight warming trend over the past 100 years and that most of the statistical rise in average temperature during the last century was due to the warm period in the 30's - long before major industrial development. Melissa Etheridge, singer and boot-wearing bulldyke, practically fell off her chair laughing as Gore revealed that the science is inconclusive and that solar activity is the probable cause of climate change over the past 20,000 years. As the music played, signaling that Gore's fleeting minutes of fame were up, Gore skipped off the stage to raucous laughter and applause. In his brilliant comedic mind, Gore was already planning a sequel to his first comedy. Maybe he'd tell his life story and call it, "Gore, an inconvenient piece of crap". "Yeah", he thought, "just like the dog excrement that inconveniently ends up on the bottom of your shoe; that's just like me!"

105 comments:

Anonymous said...

...and they called ME a paranoid schitzo ???!!!

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Anonymous said...

"Scud, you're brilliant."

Anonymous said...

Bravo, Mr. Scud, bravo indeed. I agree with that french woman. You ARE brilliant!!

Anonymous said...

Methinks Scud, our resident wordsmith, demonstrates a writing ability matched only by George Bush's speechifying.

Anonymous said...

Scud: You and science have a hate-hate relationship. It doesn't like you and you don't like it. We are all collectively stupidier for having read this. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Jeff,
I believe it's supposed to read: We are all collectively more stupidier...

Anonymous said...

Sorry Dan but this post cost me at least 15 IQ points - after four years of Flyober Guy, I'm six points from shitting myself....

Anonymous said...

Although I think Al Gore was deserving of the Oscar he won for his work in the documentary "Inconvenient Truth". I have to confess, that at times like this. I'm always a little taken aback that George Bush has never been properly recognized for what was undoubtedly his greatest acting job. That would be of course, his 9/11 role of President reading to school children. There's no other way to describe it, his acting on that day was indeed superb. By his demeanor alone he successfully portrayed an astonishing range of emotions. Shock...bewilderment and even raw fear. As a person watched him, sitting there reading "The Pet Goat" while terrorists attacked the country. His acting left you with the image of a man who "didn't know whether to shit or go blind." What a trouper the man is, the liberal media has to be that reason acting like that has never been rewarded.

Wait a minute, disregard what I said about George's performance. I was just advised he wasn't acting.

scud said...

Bla bla bla... I'm running my Suburban a little extra for all of you just because I can. I have to keep it warm because another "Gorbal warming" blizzard is imminent. God help us.

Anonymous said...

With gas at $3.50+ a gallon, running your Suburban a little extra is the smart thing to do.

Anonymous said...

Maybe scud will do the world a favor by running his Suburban in the garage, while he sit's in the driver's seat listening to the latest Toby Keith track.

Anonymous said...

Scud: Do you challenge the notion that atmospheric CO2 levels have increased about 100 ppm since the onset of the Industrial Revolution?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Global warming = junk science. More lib-dem pop-cultured BS, fanned by media biased hysterics. Gore is insane. What a perfect poster dick for the Loopy Left.

Anonymous said...

Jeff, call me, I need you.

Anonymous said...

How dare you criticize the guy who invented the internet.

Anonymous said...

Jeff: blogger, atheist, tennis player, IS man, published author, now a climatologist, thanks to Master Google. So gifted.....

Anonymous said...

What!?!? My CO2 PPM test tube checker that hangs outside my kitchen window, right next to my Global Temp Guage, says only 90 PPM! What the Hell? Now I am going to panic....HOLY CRAP, this is serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Libs, always soiling themselves over something.....

Anonymous said...

Global warming...whatever. Now, on to important things: did you hear? Nicole is going to be buried in the Bahamas! Wonder how she's doing, I'll bet she has lost weight.

Anonymous said...

I see Analnonymous, the one man crowd, is having another debate with himself.

Anonymous said...

Oh, like I'm supposed to trust the Google. It tells me the Industrial Revolution began in the 1780s and reached its stride by the 1830s. Scud tells us it began sometime after the 1930s. Clearly one of them is wrong...

Anonymous said...

That's only because history has such a liberal bias.

Anonymous said...

scud: after great deal of thought, I decided to vote for Hitlery Cunton in the Democratic primary. Why? Just so you'll know what it felt like to be me for the past six years....

Anonymous said...

It seems that members of George Bush's Defense Department have bought into the inconvenient crap. They just don't want Scud to know about it. Why does the Pentagon hate America?

Anonymous said...

Get real Mr. Truth Hurts. It's obvious to people of faith, that the Pentagon has become infested with secular leftists out of touch with reality. I've been personally assured by the Right Rev. Pat, that God, not man, has the solution to this problem. He has already formulated a plan to take care of any potential Global Warming problems. In a nut shell, and I stress the word nut, here's a quick outline of the plan. For every degree the earth's global temperature rises, the devil will be forced to reduce the heat in Hell by an equal amount. Is that an inspired solution or what? The increased heat from Heaven, being offset by the reduced temperatures from Hell. You do know of course, that Hell's located the center of the earth like a great big furnace.

As for the widespread flooding predicted for the immediate future. These floods will not be caused by rising sea levels, that's more liberal poppycock. But rather, by the land sinking under the enormous weight of the sins committed by the populace of these nations. Solution, get right with God, stop sinning, earth rises, flooding stops. Do you get that secularists? So remember, people of faith have nothing to worry about, it's those science believing, liberal heathens who are going to get their asses handed to them. Can I get an Amen?

scooterlib said...

Today, I find myself in a position where it's possible I may need to change my name. Because of the criminal actions of that scumbag Scooter Libby, an unwelcome cloud of shame has been cast over all the Scooter's of the world. May he rot in h... prison.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry scooterlib. I'll clear your namesake's reputation with a presidential pardon. If I don't, he may testify in his appeal, and expose my entire criminal organization.

Anonymous said...

Whenever I see poll numbers that indicate just 29% of the country supports the Worst. President. Ever. I think about a certain whacko from Minnesota....

Anonymous said...

Please, oh please, Jesus, let him drop a few more percentage points. Tricky Dick's tired of being the only President to bottom out in the low 20's

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Scud's the only guy I know who would look at that very hot Brazilian protester and get upset.

Anonymous said...

Meet scud's favorite Minnesota law enforcer.

Johnny Roosh said...

good stuff fly guy!

Anonymous said...

Yes, good stuff indeed.

Anonymous said...

Well, I see George the Dyslexic has returned from his***good-will*** visit to our southern neighbors. Thing is, while there, he appeared to be auditioning more for a job on the Food Channel than conducting the Nation's business. Other than embarrassing the country once again, the one thing he did accomplish was to prove Donald Trump is 100% right about him.

Anonymous said...

News Flash: Key Computer Stolen From Minnesota Democrats' HQ.

This theft, along with the fact Scud hasn't shown up here for awhile. Brings to mind this old song lyric. "Could it be our boy's done something rash?"

Anonymous said...

Fag

Anonymous said...

The only reason we libs show up here, is to see the deranged analnonymous pretend to be Ann "the man" Coulter.

Anonymous said...

Who knew lying would give me cancer????

Anonymous said...

Mindless liberals. They'll believe anything as long as it supports their nutcase view of the world. Global warming is a total lie, one of the biggest hoaxes in history. And there's Fat Boy himself, giving $100K speeches to any idiot who will listen. Such credibility.

Anonymous said...

Analnonymous, John "Doe" Smith and I are in complete agreement about Global Warming. And I'll have you know, as right wingers, we are the world's foremost experts on all things "mindless".

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