Senator Dianne Feinstein, Democrat from California, made an impassioned plea with soon to be Chief Justice, John Roberts to preserve the sacred right of every woman to choose abortion as an alternative to childbirth. Breaking with committee tradition, Feinstein left her chair and climbed atop the large hearing room table and proceeded to pace back and forth while speaking in a shrill tone, gesturing wildly with her hands.
"For me to support you as Chief Judge, you must promise me that you will do whatever it takes to preserve the sacred right and privilege that is every woman's, to be able to have the federal government sanction the abortion of a child, I mean meaningless mass of cellular tissue." She continued, "It has always been my highest honor and goal to fight for the continued ability for all women, to know personally the joy and elation of scrambling a baby's brains and then to have its lifeless and mangled body take its rightful place in the medical waste container. The thrill of hearing the Vaccusuck 3000 whir into operation, about to snuff the worthless life growing inside you into the sink, is music to every liberal's ears. It makes me very proud to know that since Roe vs. Wade, we have been able to extinguish over 40 million children, thus saving this country the waste of educating them and having to endure the hardship of watching them grow into contributing members of society, or worse, Republicans!" she shrieked. "Government supported infanticide is one of our greatest achievements, and you'd better not take that away from us!" she screamed. As she was about to continue, security guards, from behind the table, were able to sedate Ms Feinstein with a tranquilizer dart, which struck her in the left buttock. She yelled one final statement as she slumped to the tabletop, "Let us kill...”. Her words trailed off as she slipped into a deep sleep.
As she was being carted away, Senator Kennedy was overheard talking to Joe Biden saying, "Well at least she got to the real point. Killing babies is really all that matters. As long as this guy [Roberts] allows us to continue doing that, we're fine with him". "Gawd, I love a good abortion!" Kennedy said. "It's almost as good as making my own snuff film in the river", he added. Biden nodded in agreement, with a misty, prideful gleem in his eyes.
16 comments:
It's tough being a pragmatist in a bizarro world. On the front page of the Times, a headline reads, "Roberts parries queries on death and Roe v. Wade." The subtext announces, "Democrats frustrated." Meanwhile religious conservatives are tickled pink; Flyover seems to celebrate Roberts' appointment is part of the demise of legalized abortion. Roberts already answered these questions to what should be to the Democrats' satisfaction and Flyover's chagrin. Roe v. Wade was, quoth Roberts, "settled as a precedent of the court, entitled to respect under principles of stare decisis." Further alienating religious conservatives Roberts declared, "There's nothing in my personal views based on faith or other sources that would prevent me from applying the precedent of the court faithfully," he said. "I don't look to the Bible or any other religious sources."
Jeff,
If you'll notice, I say nothing about Roberts views, or any predictions as to the future decisions he will make. I have no fantasies as to how he will decide anything. I am excited to have, what I believe, is a strict constructionist on the bench, who will decide cases based on the facts presented and how the constitution and the law aplies to any presented case. What I was doing, was commenting through parody, on the issue most important, to the hardcore lefties, which even you must admit is the real issue at hand.
Hilarious story! And sadly, so close to reality as well. Feinstein and Kennedy are cockroaches, symbolizing the greasy scumbags of the Left. Verminous, traitorous, murderous filth, one and all. If Feinstein is such an advocate for slaughtering babies, maybe she'd like to try a partial birth abortion herself and just see how much fun it is. Whorebag.....
I don't think you people should be making light of the genocide of milions of nearly born children.
"whatever" may be the most angry, hateful person I've ever encountered. I suppose he fancies himself a Christian.
Angry, yes. Hateful, maybe. Christian, could be. But anger is not unjustified nor is it unprecidented by Biblical standards. Christ himself raged when he threw the money changers out of the temple; Peter was angry when he tried to defend Jesus with his sword from the Roman guard taking him into custody. Using the popular phrase, W.W.J.D. (What would Jesus Do?) concerning abortion, I'd safely wager that He may be slightly angry too. There is nothing "Loving" about infanticide.
You know, in the end, it all comes down to Good vs. Evil. Always has, always will. From the Garden of Eden up to now, the conflict is always there. The fact is that America is under siege on numerous fronts. Liberalism, secular humanism, relativism, whatever you want to call it, is analogous to termites nibbling away at a foundation on a house. It takes a while but eventually the whole structure is rotten and will eventually collapse. Groups like Move on, ACLU, ADL, CBC, and CAIR are just some of the examples of the cancer that is eating away at this country's soul. These groups, with the MSM acting as their lapdogs, desire a sort of socialist, multicultural Hell. Abortion, same-sex marriage, amoral standards, anti-Christian attacks, etc., it all leads to the same thing. America will be relegated to a third-rate power (China will be the new Superpower of this century) and will take its place along with the U.K. A burned out shell of what it once was. Oh well, the end days are coming, the Book of Relevations was written long ago, and it is soon coming to pass. To all of the baby-killers and supporters of the genocide....good luck explaining it to your Creator. I know, I'm just a rednecked, Bible-thumping, radical right-wing nutcase....whatever. At any rate, I do know it's wrong to murder the unborn.
It wasn't easy to fit a tin-foil hat over Anonymous' "important point" yet somehow he managed. If America is relegated to a third world power, then it is hardly the fault of liberalism, the ideology upon which this country was established, rather the full-frontal assault on science and math that is being waged by the religious right. Given rampant anti-intellectualism in the fly-over states, it is hardly surprising that they should miss a clear trend within this nation's ivy walls. Foreign nationals are taking increasingly more hard science degrees from American universities. IBM is so concerned about this vacuum that they've offered financial assistance to any current employee who leaves the firm to become a math or science teacher.
Unfortunately, recent attacks on these disciplines come at a time of promise. While it still lags behind many of its international counterparts (Estonia? - come on), the class of '05 did very well in math and science. But these children entered high school ahead of the religious right's recent ascendence. Buoyed by a president who believes theology has standing in science class, local fundamentalists have made national headlines with their efforts do well as the intellectual heirs of Salem and the court of Urban VIII.
Jeff,
You're a n intellectual idiot. You are hanging your own tinfoil hat on modern liberalism which has nothing in common with the classical liberalism of our nations founding. The failure of our ejumucashun system has more to do with modern liberalism than any witch burning puritanical ideology. In fact it has everything to do with the lame liberal concepts forced on our culture and education system by the socialists that have taken over the democratic party over the past 40 years. If you can't see that, there is no hope for you.
And you are a victim of your own propaganda. During the latter half of the 20th century conservatives began spewing venom on the liberal brand. To distinguish between their contemporaries and the Founders whose thoughts they claim intimate knowledge, conservatives helped foster hyphenated liberalisms which is ironic given their distaste for hyphenated Americans. Your challenge is to tell the class when "classical-liberalism" entered the lexicon.
Most of what you fear isn't liberalism at all. You fear progressivism, pragmatism, secular humanism, modern and post-modernism, etc. Many of these philosophies connect with contemporary liberals but they shouldn't be confused with liberalism. Since John Locke first put quill to paper, all liberals have held that everyone has equal rights under the law, nobody can be denied those rights without due process, freedom cannot be arbitrarily abridged (a BIG sticking point among conservatives) and government rules at the consent of the people. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. I await your next red herring.
Jeff- Liberal ideology is what is behind french or canadian governments for example. They are based on ideas that are supposed to work a certain way but really don't. Like "universal healthcare" which is the reason both of my grandparents in canada died prematurely as a result of the poor care and "age prioritizing" that goes on in a government run hospital.
Jeff- This country was not founded on liberalism at all. You might remember that people originally settled here to worship some form of Christianity freely. You might remember that we were originally one nation under God... The constitution mirrors the same messages from Jesus in the Bible about personal value. You might note that Jesus said everyone was equal and had free will to choose how to live their lives just as the Constitution allows.
Jeff- I do fear secular humanism, modern and post-modernism, etc because it is a main stay of your party. I am being denied many rights as a result of people from another country moving to my country illegally. I pay for their 3rd world ideology, 88% of crime in my state is committed by them. My insurance rates are higher because I might get hit by someone with no insurance. I have to pay more taxes so that things can be printed in spanish as well as english. Yet your party proposes giving them whatever they want at the poor middle class Americans expense. You need to read the definition of Democracy, and our Constitution which guarantee's everyone equality in the pursuit of happiness, not equality for everyone in the results of their pursuit.
Jeff- The will of the people is essential, properly informing people is to. The same people that support abortion won't usually watch an ultra sound video of one being done cause they'd have to watch a baby squirm as its ripped apart in front them. They usually support amnesty for law breaking, undereducated, environment destroying, demanding, undeserving illegal immigrants because they don't want to sound "racist". I don't care if the immigrants are blue or green, I could give two shits about what color their skin might be, I'm pissed that their breaking the law and liberal idiots don't seem to care as long as it doesn't effect them. As long as they don't get their car stolen or shot in a drive by, or find it harder to get medical benefits, or pay taxes on services rendered to people who don't pay taxes, etc. This is not the pursuit of happiness, its American citizens getting fucked over cause the liberal party doesn't want to address the issue. The amount of environmental damage to the desert in southern Arizona is appalling as a result of the things people do on their way to the US. Strange? no liberal outcry to save the tortoises and lizards and cacti. Why? cause the immigrants will cry racism and say that its our countries fault for not making it easier for them to migrate legally... What the Fuck! Don't want to loose a potential voting base, so were gonna except their illegal activities and give what they want. That sounds like giving us Americans what we really want. Maybe your type of American, 4% of the population fought the revolutionary war against England, you would have not been in that percent, you would have been sipping tea and adjusting to the latest taxes imposed by the big government that gave people the Kings and Queens they wanted with a bunch of pansy loyalists! You make me sick.sick.sick.
Fr. Sherwood Dubois - Your making a joke that implies that the reason conservative Christians want abortion to stop is because those aborted babies could have been teen alter boys ripe for molestation shows the true cruelty of your liberal thought process, thats it! good boy! way to help your team! Do you know that theres a higher percentage of doctors and dentists involved in molestation cases. Funny, the liberal media never mentions this, well cause then they'd be openly criticizing what is a sacred institution to so many people just because you don't like them, not because they have a serious molestation problem. Its no fun to criticize anonymous doctors, dentists, or individual christian bible thump parishes, cause they have so many faces, its easier for simpletons to blame one institution, and scrutinize one institution, just because you hate it. That is not democracy or equality but I'd bet you're short comment represents the amount of information on the tip of your tongue at the time and so you probably haven't read this far or are to stupid to understand me or follow at this point. The sad thing is that there has been better people conceived and murdered, and you live. Aren't you glad mommy gave you name and didn't decide to abort you?
to all - In the United States of America if you murder a woman who is so much as 4 weeks pregnant, you will be tried for murdering...drum roll......Two People! thats right, the government says if someone else kills a woman who is pregnant then that person has killed the mother and her child. The Government also says that if you didn't like the guy you fucked a month ago at a party and it was a mistake, well, go down to planned parenthood! pay at the front, take the knock out drugs! and get your baby sucked out, chopped up, and thrown in the garbage for a small fee, be on your way to a fruitful life and career and oh yeah... if it happens again, just stop on by! We don't mind, we love the money, and we need the stem cells for Micheal J. Fox even if adult stem cells are better and produce more successful results. Shit you cock smoking liberals should see a partial birth abortion, that gets a little more visually nasty, the uh "fetus" looks a lot more like one of those baby toys your daughter plays with. Forget Saw 1 2 or 3, you liberals need an Abortion horror movie!
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