Thursday, January 27, 2005
Newdow's Head Explodes
Noted atheist and anti-God activist, Michael Newdow's head exploded last Wednesday during the Presidential inauguration. Newdow, who prior to the ceremony, failed in his court challenge to block the traditional prayer was said to be noticeably on edge. Authorities were initially puzzled by the phenomenon, which seemed to happen throughout the country. Observers in certain parts of the country such as New York City, San Francisco, Seattle and most University campuses were said to hear sounds like loud popcorn or even, machine gun fire. In some cases, where several atheists were gathered in small groups within earshot of the inauguration ceremony, the collective explosion caused property and structural damage to buildings. A spokesperson for local authorities said, "Apparently, there were just too many references to God, religious music and of course, the ever so threatening, Prayer. Once they started praying, they just couldn't take it. Their heads just blew up!" A Bush administration official said after the ceremony that with the success of the prayer, the technique would now be implemented in Europe. When pressed, the spokesperson said, "We should have never given France back to those sniveling God hating wimps, I always liked blowing up frogs."